Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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