I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
