So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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