me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
