I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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