If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
