So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
