You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
