Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
