This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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