Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
