Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
