yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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