I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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