There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
