new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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