FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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