i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
