Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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