First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
