My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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