I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
