yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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