hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
