In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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