I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
