Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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