Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
