Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
