i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
