arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is the high leading the old right now
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
