The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
