I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
