I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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