Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
