Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
