I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
