Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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