i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
