No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize