did you get engaged???
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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