I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
