dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
