i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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