I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
