So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
