Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
