apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
