I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
