I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize