So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
