I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
