don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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