There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
