I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
