I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
