i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
