The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
