can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
