if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
