"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize