its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
