they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
